A Little Story of My Past19:25
I know you must have went "OMG". Yep, they are both me! On the left was me on my friend's 17th Birthday party in 2009 and on the right was just 2 days ago in a fitting room at Forever 21. Oh I bought that dress in the end, it cost me $33! Not too bad right? The material is quite thick and stretchable!
Back to my story, now where do I begin with. I was fat and my complexion was very dark. Even my own sister used to tease me and say that I was adopted. I don't blame her for saying that though, I mean, I really did not look like any of my sisters! They are fair, skinny and pretty. I was sad though, really sad.
Some outsiders even commented something very nasty (I felt that it was nasty but she might not think so). One day while I was out shopping with my second sister, we bumped into her colleague and they talked a bit. Then the colleagued finally noticed me and asked my sister "She is your?" I swear my sister wanted to disown me that much on that day lol. "She is my sister" and then the colleague went "Huh? she doesn't look like you at all. She is so dark."
I mean seriously, even if I don't look like her, do you have to say it in front of my face? My confidence was crushed. I couldn't take that comment and I ran off to look for my mom with teary eyes. People was mean to me, always comment things like how come I don't look like my sisters, how come I didn't go on diet and stuffs.
As I had mentioned, my confidence really crushed. The comment were made so often that I labelled myself as fat and ugly without me noticing it. The problem was that, I didn't make an effort to make a change. Even after the nasty comments, instead of changing their mindset, I just accept it as it is, which is very bad. I ate without realising that my weight was increasing day to day. I was scared of weighing scale. I never stepped on it back then cause I thought I was fat and that's enough.
When I finally stepped on one as I was forced to when I went to see doctor when I was sick, I weighed 74/76 kg then (I could not remember very well but it was around that range). That was my heaviest, although I don't know how much I weigh during the time that I didn't weigh myself.
During my secondary 2, I was in the TAF club (only Singaporean or international students who studied secondary school in Singapore would understand what's that). Every morning we (overweight students) were called out from the assembly to do our run downstairs with everybody watching. I guess you know how that feels.
My weight dropped tremendously after that and I was out of TAF club. Did my weight stabilised? Nope. I gained weight again during sec 3 and back I was to TAF club lol. Back then I didn't know how to love and take good care of myself. I was in there for the rest of my secondary school life hahhahaa. The picture above was taken on May 2009, which is after my O level.
Prom Night on November 2009
Okay, I really want to cover my eyes!! Where did I get that confidence to wear sleeveless when my arms is that big!! :/ And I look rounder in white. Anyway, the girl on the side was the Prom queen of the night. A very sweet and humble girl <3 Although we don't really keep in touch now, but I would always remember when we hang out together and what she had taught me and stuffs.
On July 2010, when I started my Diploma, I weighed 66 kg. My weigh went up and down then (especially when I go back my home town during the holiday!! IT SHOOT UP!) but it never go over 70 any more. That was also the time when I start to take good care of myself to make myself more presentable.
Although my complexion is still not as good, but not bad right? Quite a big difference already. The picture was taken on the day I had a presentation in the school. I also noticeably slimmed down quite a lot too right?
So in total I slimmed down 8-10 kg. If you want to say I slimmed down a lot, I would say no. My current weight (as of 06 Sep 2013) 65.3 kg. Although my bone is big and heavy, but I think my perfect weight would be at 60 kg. So, I am actually still overweight and my body is still huge. It's very hard to see it from the pictures as now I am very smart in taking from certain angle and pose in a certain pose that would not make me look fat HAHAHAHA.
I had become more and more weight conscious. I don't let my weight go over 66 kg. I am still working to get to 60 kg. If I managed to slim down to 60 kg, then I would say I slimmed down a lot! from 74/76 kg to 60 kg!! That's really a lot to me. hehehehe.
When I met friends or relatives that did not see me for a very long time and start telling me "Wah, you slimmed down a lot! Getting prettier and prettier" It really feels good to hear those comments. I know some of you are gona say "wah, so proud. Lose a few kg only." If you have not been in my shoes, you won't understand how I feel. I am not proud of my achievement, but I feel proud of myself. I made those people who always gave me nasty comments went into shock when they see me.
Tips To Slim Down:
- Don't drink soda drinks. I stopped drinking soda drinks since 2 years ago. Even when I go to wedding dinner, I would opt for non soda drinks. I know the sugar content is still high, but still better than soda drinks! For normal eat out, I would always asked for warm water, provided they serve plain water there. For free lol.
- Drink more water. More. More. More. If you could, drink warm water every time you are thirsty. You would be surprised that it would make a lot of difference. Otherwise just drink normal tap water, strictly no icy cold water, especially during or after your heavy meals.
- Love yourself enough to eat healthy and eat clean. I am not saying you have to totally stop eating fast food and all, but you could cut down. Snacks is very crucial, instead of chips and stuffs, maybe change to something healthier like fruits? I always stock up banana in my house, whenever my mouth is itchy I would just grab one and eat.
- Eat less but more frequently. Eat small meals every 2-3 hours. I mean really small meals, like a few mouthfuls of your lunch and leave it for later. I always cook a meal for myself when I am at home and I eat baby portion every 3 hours. This would make all your food to be fully digested and would also train your stomach to digest every 3 hours. So the next time when you don't eat, your stomach would burn your fats for energy.
- Don't starve yourself. I had been there myself, I wanted to slim down so much that I tried to go on diet by starving myself and it only ended up making me fatter. I am not joking. Because when you start to eat, you would tend to eat a lot. your stomach can't digest everything at once and it would turn to fats.
- Before you slim down, don't blame yourself for being a big size. You didn't want that to happen too, it's just that you could not control. It's perfectly fine. If you don't accept yourself, who would want to accept you?
- Have a positive thinking of yourself. Tell yourself that you are beautiful in your way and if those people gave you nasty comments, just gulped them down and tell yourself "One day, I would make their jaw drop."
- Once you feel good of yourself, you would start to do things from the heart. You would start to go running or do simple exercises at home. Whatever it is, as long as you had taken the first step, everything would fall into line.
- Don't give up. It's not easy, no one said it would be easy. It took me 4 years to just lose 8-10kg. I wasn't strong enough. I gave up easily and thus my result is so slow. Remember in between after I lost weight I gained them back again? I was weak, I could not control my thoughts and my wants.
- Make sure you know what you really really need and what you want. Do you really need to eat fast food and drink soda drinks to make you feel happier? Do you think the result would make you happier? When you are overweight, you would be sad and feel bad of yourself, how could you say that you need them? You only NEED something to give you energy.
How many times you go shopping and see the pretty clothes but it just doesn't look good in you? I have that feeling a lot of times. I want to wear so many pretty clothes, I want to buy so many clothes when I went to Bangkok but I just could not fit into them. I still can't fit into them but I am working. We would work together for this, yeah?
Always bear in mind that you are not alone. There are people out there who is feeling the exact same thing as you do, some even worst. When people give nasty comments, don't accept them!! The comments don't DEFINE you! YOU DEFINE yourself!!
P.S: For those who are not overweight, good for you as you don't have to face the pressure of being huge. But before you comment anything nasty to your huge friend, do put yourself in their shoes and always remember that Karma is a bitch. For those who are overweight, it's time to make a change in your life. Imagine yourself a year from now on, able to drop two sizes for your outfits. You would feel so good. Trust me :)
From left to right (see as if you are reading) = 2009-1012