Inability to Receive


I can love others, I can give out lots of love to the people who need them most. I even embraced my enemy.

Simply because I believe in something. The one who can't love, needs it the most.

Maybe because of this believe too, I never thought I myself need love and care from others. Because I can love. A lot.

I will insist on sending my friend to her doorstep, but never want a friend to do the same to me. I will insist on taking care of my friend who fell sick, but never want to bother anyone when it comes to myself. I will help others to the most that I can, but I never want to ask for help when I need it.

Why? I don't know why too. Am I being too harsh on myself? Am I treating myself too badly? I never thought so though. I will let myself do whatever I want. I just don't want to trouble others, that's all.

I ever quoted this quote before, "Be kind, be honest, be loving, be true and all these things will come back to you." But then when all those things come back to me, I don't know how to accept it. I have a hard time receiving kindness from people.

Haters Gona Hate
I had been going out a lot recently because my friend, Hefei, is here for holiday. Went to have lots of fun and good food. People start to say nasty things like I am showing off, spend drift, so much of being a "volunteer".

No joke, I really get that a lot recently. Haters gona hate, isn't it? I can't really relate the last part about being a volunteer. Is there any link? I can't have my own life with my family and friends and at the same time, enjoying volunteer work?

If posting stuffs on Instagram is showing off, then be it. I just want to record all MY moments in MY social media. If you have a problem with it, please feel free to unfollow me.

If you don't see me taking out money from my own pocket, don't talk. So what even if I spend? I don't spend future money and never ask for more for what's given to me every month.

"The more you do, the more people would talk behind your back. The better life you live, the more people would , the stronger you get, the more people would set you back."

And so? What's the matter? So long as my life is filled with happiness from within, it's enough. I don't live to please you :)

I am a human, I can be nasty at times too. I don't lose temper easily, so when I really do, it really meant that you had gone too far.

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  1. don't need to take it all ..
    it happens to me all the time that people judging but you know what..
    they just gonna keep talking and nothing we can do except enjoying our lives.
    be happy and wish them happy is the best thing.

    1. Thank you Indri for you encouragement words! You are right, they will just keep talking no matter what! Awesome fashion blog you have there! Keep it up!